The Magic of Creation

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be an artist. By definition, an artist is one who creates art. The art is the end-product and, I suspect, the goal. The art is what we put out into the world to be admired by an adoring public. The masses oooh and aaah, or they may moan and groan. But either way, they are taken in one form or another with the end-product that is art.

The interesting thing to me is that this is not where the magic happens at all... at least for the artist. Any rapture and bliss is felt by the artist during the period of creation. It is in the little moments spent alone - applying paint, gluing paper, sculpting clay, or sewing fabric. Inspiration happens here. The excitement of overcoming obstacles happens here. And the vibration of being in the zone with your materials happens here. The essential magic of being an artist occurs not when you've created your best work... but during the creation of that work. Once a piece has been realized, the magic that I'm speaking of will vanish like smoke in the wind. Until, of course, you move onto the next thing...

Which brings me to my blog. Lately I've been fearing that my daily posts about my fabric collages might be a bit boring. I desperately want to present you with a neatly-wrapped, beautifully displayed, completed piece of art. After all, this is the goal that society expects we artists achieve. But this morning I realized that my life as an artist is comprised of the bits and pieces... not the finished work. When I finally do present you with my completed collage, it will be with no small amount of sadness mixed in. The splendor of that creative period will be over, and I will mourn the loss.

So in the meantime, I'm not going to worry about the pressure to produce and the stress of racing toward a finished product. My daily trials and tribulations are my bliss. The simple act of creation is wherein lies the gift. It is why I do what I do. And that, my friends is what I have to share with you each day - wonderfully incomplete, beautifully fragmented magic.

I'm Published!

I'm absolutely thrilled to report that I have an article in the latest issue (#5) of Art & Life. It's the first time I've been published, and I'm thrilled beyond words! My article is entitled: "Life on the Edge: Building My Website." It recounts the journey of a technologically un-inclined individual... me. If you read it, I hope you'll enjoy it. And if you don't already subscribe to this fantastic publication, then run - don't walk - to get signed up. It's published by the wonderful Teesha Moore, and each issue is as unique, informative, and inspirational as she is. Thank you, Teesha, for giving me a voice!

On another topic, my sincerest and deepest thanks to everyone who took the time to pour out your compassion for me. It means the world. And it makes me wonder what we ever did before the age of the internet. Most of you would never have even known I had a bad day and I would have missed the opportunity to have felt so loved. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reaching out.

They seem to have the fire totally (*knock wood*) under control and they're now in the "mop-up" stage. I'm not sure exactly what that means but it's better than the "fire-fighting" stage. I am amazed and grateful they were able to get a handle on it so quickly. I spent most of yesterday cleaning to rid our house of the smoke smell. We hosed down everything outside as best we could to get rid of the ash. Poor Bentley just had a bath over the weekend... looks like he'll need another. Now I've got to play catch up in my studio. Unfortunately, I've got appointments most of the morning, so that will have to wait until later. Life goes on...

Let Me Tell You a Story...

Yesterday morning, I was happily working away in my studio, making tremendous progress. Things were flowing effortlessly, and it was a nearly perfect morning... until I glanced out the window. Immediately, I knew the color of the sky wasn't right. The light was too red... and too dark... It was nauseating.

I raced down the stairs and outside to see a fire burning on the mountain behind our house. Two years ago our neighborhood was forced to undergo mandatory evacuations as we watched the fire burn right up to the edges of our yards. It was a horrible experience. And this was too similar in nature for my comfort.
Steve came home from work at noon and we began to pack... again. How do you decide which items from a lifetime of collecting make the cut? It is a surreal process with a cruel time limit. It is nauseating and nearly paralyzing. The animals don't understand the high stress, and this breaks my heartl. I feel powerless to comfort them. I wouldn't wish this type of day on anyone.

By evening they had announced a 70 percent containment. Thank God. But with nightfall comes the eerie quiet of a sky devoid of aircraft. The hours stretch on unbearably. The knowledge that there are no water-dropping helicopters and no fixed-winged aircraft bringing fire retardant is scary. I picture those brave firefighters on foot in the rocky terrain. They've been fighting with a hundred pounds of gear all day in one-hundred-degree weather. I'm sure they're exhausted... and now they have lost their visibility. The sky turns into an inky black, which makes it difficult to determine if it's actually getting better or worse...

This morning the air is heavy with ash and smoke. No open windows for me today. It's still too dark for me to get a feel for what has transpired over the course of this long and sleepless night. I do see stars, however, so that is an answer to a prayer. I'm tuned into the radio, waiting for an update. They are promising the aircraft will be back up shortly after 6 am. That jumble of mechanical noise never sounded so sweet...

Making Progress...

My "With Love" series is coming along. For the first time, I feel that I will likely have a finished piece to bring to the Pasadena gallery in September. The tags pictured here are those really tiny ones - approx. 3/4" tall. I redid the french knots you see in the ribbon. I felt the brown was too distracting. I replaced them with a little cluster of ivory seed beads.

I worked a lot this weekend in my studio. But the nice thing about fabric and sewing is that it's generally portable. I think I spent an equal amount of time working in front of the TV while Steve relaxed and watched football.

Speaking of which, I CANNOT wait for the regular season to start! For those of you who don't know it, I am a HUGE football fan... the Miami Dolphins being my team. Steve roots for the Raiders. You'll know we're diehard fans when I tell you that we tacked on a trip after our Hawaii honeymoon to run up to Oakland because the Dolphins were playing the Raiders that weekend. Now that's dedication! I keep telling Steve how lucky he is...

With One Palette

I've been aware for quite some time that artists, along the course of their artistic lives, develop a specific palette. It is as signature to them as the way they dress or the way they wear their hair. An artist's palette defines the artist in a certain way and makes it easier for an audience to identify their work.

My question is this: Can an artist have several different palettes? This question perplexes me. From what I can figure out, I work in three primary palettes. One is more dominant than the other two, but I certainly feel equally excited by all three.

My most dominant palette dwells in the land of earth tones: rich reds, ochres, and quinacridone gold...a yellow green and some deep blue and a dash of purple. The colors are moody and rich. They are, in fact, the colors of my home as well. My second palette, which I turn to primarily with fabric, deals with pastels. I enjoy the soft, aged look of worn and faded fabrics. I choose ivories, pinks, peach, pale turquoise, butter yellow. A soft brown is about as daring as I will get here. It's about a vintage look and times long past. My third palette expresses my wild side, I suppose. It is outlandish and delightfully bright - hot pink, orange, lime green, and vibrant turquoise.

Does that make me less of an artist? Am I an artist with an identity crisis or an artist with no direction? Or perhaps I have yet to find my path and my "style"? But my gut tells me this is not the case. I enjoy all three of my color personalities and feel equally comfortable expressing myself in each. Why not go forth on all three levels and conquer? I think more emphasis needs to be placed on the expression itself rather than whether it fits within a standard and expected color scheme, don't you? And it's certainly not my job to worry about whether the public can identify a piece as mine. That's what the signature is for.

Dia de los Muertos (et al...)

Here's one of the pieces I made for the Day of the Dead Swap I'm partici- pating in. I still need to add the hanging part, but other than that, they're all finished. Each piece measures about 5 inches square. I'm happy with the way they turned out. And I got to experiment with the rolled edge binding for the first time.

And in a completely different color scheme, here's another photo of part of my fabric collage. The picture doesn't do the texture in this piece justice. I used Xpandaprint, which I purchased from Meinke Toy. (It comes in white and black.) Per Beryl Taylor's instructions in "Mixed Media Explorations", I brushed it on through a stencil. Then when it was still wet, I heated it with a heat gun. As it dries, the Xpandaprint sort of bubbles and expands and turns into this weird-feeling stuff. I then painted the entire thing beige, let it dry, and then dry brushed an off-white over the top. It's pretty cool-looking in person. This is Steve's favorite technique on the collages. I suppose because it's the most manly, given all of the other hearts and flowers. He's right though... it is pretty darned cool.

A Few More Bits

Here are "a few more bits" from my fabric collages. The frames are slide mounts that I dyed in coffee. They are layered with ribbon and fabric and then attached with decorative brads. I wrote the words "with love" around the borders in pencil, but hadn't done that yet in this photo. The little jeweled pieces in the center were a find at the vintage fabric show. I got them all sewn on yesterday with a running stitch.

I've decided that the title of this series is going to be "With Love". I'm really excited to share these with Gail, the owner of the Folk Tree Collection gallery in Pasadena. I'm meeting with her in just a few short weeks. I hope her response is favorable. Moreover, I hope I can finish them in time! I may have to abandon working on all 7 at once and just shoot for completing one or two. I'll make that decision next week sometime...

More Fabric Collage

Here are the pictures I tried to show you yesterday. They're more components of the fabric collages I'm working on. Most of the pieces I'm adding to the collage contain "scraps" that I picked up at the flea market. I imagine they were a part of someone's clothes at some point. Now they're a part of my art! If their owners only knew... Lelainia, do you recognize your celluloid buttons from Fiberfest?

I picked up my banner yesterday, but they need to redo it. Ugh. Surprisingly, my name is spelled correctly. However they inserted 6 grommets instead of the 4 I asked for. The extra two are right in the center and really draw your eye there instead of to my name. I was really specific about placement, so thankfully they will redo it at no charge.
That's about it. Nothing too exciting to report. I'm just happily working away in my studio... making slow but sure progress. Working with fabric these past couple of weeks has been refreshing and inspiring. I think that's why I love the term "mixed media" so darned much. It's basically a license to do anything you want.

Today I'm going to combine both worlds and do some painting on the fabric. Nothing major... just some stamping and maybe some dry brushing. I'll keep you informed. Are you dying to see the entire piece yet? Maybe I'm not building as much suspense as, say, "Snakes on a Plane", but I'm doing my best.

Pictures Optional

Good Morning! I've been dutifully taking photos of my work this weekend to be able to share with you today. However, blogger is being temperamental. So it looks like I won't be able to show you anything. Sorry about that. Stay tuned for beaucoup des photos in the near future!

I worked hard all weekend long though and made some great progress. I worked on my fabric collages, my Day of the Dead swap pieces, and some writing I needed to complete. Add to that all the usual chores, housework, yardwork and errands, plus a full day of pre-season football, and that about rounds out my weekend.

The best news I have to report of the entire weekend is that Steve (wonderful husband that he is) fixed the blown circuit! Yea! So no hiring some expensive electrician. Double yea! I got a new heat gun, but I don't like it. It's wimpy. I think I may investigate the heat guns they have at the hardware store. Those seem more industrial. While I'm at it, maybe I'll look at the Dremels... I've been coveting one of those for quite some time now.

A First Look

Here's your first glimpse of the fabric collages I've been so dilligently working on. The first picture is pretty self-explanatory. The second photo shows the little paper pieces I posted about yesterday attached to their base. The layering is slowly starting to build, and the results are exciting. I'm hoping to experiment with Xpandaprint this weekend, but I need to buy a new heat gun first.

I was able to approve the proof this morning for my banner. With any luck it will be ready for pickup in a few days. This banner is the equivalent of "my name in lights" because it is basically my name, stretched across 6 feet. My intention is to place it at the top of my art fair booth. I feel strongly that name recognition is important. In addition, my name is so darned hard to spell, I'm hoping that seeing it will help people to remember. That's the plan, anyway.

Have a great weekend, everyone!!

Playing with Techniques

These are some pieces I just finished using one of Beryl Taylor's techniques in her fantastic new book "Mixed Media Explorations". They are to be components of the fabric collage series I'm currently working on. Aren't they simply fab?

This technique is wonderful... and so much fun! It involves using water soluble paper. I dampened several sheets and then pressed it gently onto a rubber stamp. I set it out in the sun to dry completely and then voila! I added more depth with washes of Titan Buff and Burnt Umber. I couldn't be happier with the results.

Rejection

Well... it happened... I got my first rejection last night from The Santa Barbara Artwalk.

It's funny that I'm not more upset. Sure, I had the expected wave of shock and dismay and hurt and anger. But that passed pretty darned quickly, and now I'm okay. It may be the first show I've applied to, but it's certainly not the last. I firmly believe that power comes in the movement of "doing". And that's exactly what I will do: keep on moving forward. I will continue to stock my inventory and I will continue to apply to shows. And when one of these venues does accept me, it will be at precisely the right time for me on this journey of mine. I trust that the Universe knows what it's doing. And in the meantime... I paint.

One More Step...

Well... I did it! The business cards are officially ordered as of this morning. Here's what they're going to look like. (It was still sort of dark when I took the photo, so the colors aren't as rich as in real life.) We fooled around with borders and more text and other options. But in the end, I like the strength that the simplicity of this card imparts. And man is it cool to see my own art on them! It's like an instant graphic. And it just makes me feel "official".

My first set of business cards were a cheap, pre-fab design from one of those label companies. The "pre-fab" part means that they actually showcased someone else's art! They served their purpose at the time. But my new cards say, "I take myself and my life as an artist seriously." I like that. I hope you do, too.

Funky Crate

You know you've found your calling when you sort of can't wait for Sunday to finish so that you can get back in your studio on Monday morning to create. That's an amazing feeling... and one I've certainly never felt with any other vocation. It's so validating and life-affirming.

These photos are of this awesome, funky crate I picked up at our local antique mall this weekend. I'm not sure that it's even really all that old, but I just love it. The minute I saw it, I knew it needed to be my yarn caddy. Isn't it perfect?!?

Okay... on another topic... I'm wondering right about now if the electric gods of the universe are against me. If you've been following my blog, you'll no doubt remember our $609 electric bill. You'll also remember that I painted in order to heal, and I've been suffering through some hot afternoons. I have yet to turn on the air conditioning once in August! That's pretty major for me. But I'm determined to get that bill reduced to something not so insane. And I'm worried about Southern California Edison's 200% promised rate hike this month.

So on Friday afternoon, I turned on my heat gun to dry my art - like any good impatient artist would do. The thing explodes... literally. There were sparks and a few flames and I had this big black smoke/burn mark on my hand. After this incident, none of the 8 outlets along that corner of the kitchen were working.

I figured, "No problem, it's probably just a blown fuse." Steve came home and we flipped ALL of the circuits and reset ALL of the safety switches both inside and out. Nada. We have no idea what to do next and electricity is certainly something you don't want to experiment with. Wanna guess how much the electrician is going to be? My bet is that it will be precisely the difference between this month's bill and the $609 from last month. How does that happen!?!?

... what to say???...

I have enjoyed keeping a blog. It has surprised me just how much I enjoy it. But sometimes I feel pressure to relay some deep insightful thoughts about art and life. I'm not sure if I ever accomplish this, but at least on most mornings I try. Today, however, I'm at a loss. All I can think of is turning on the coffee pot. So rather than be insightful, I'll just tell you what I did yesterday...

I'm still working on getting my business cards designed. Gale is the name of the guy I've been dealing with at The Printing House. He's the owner. And he's a wonderful, patient man! Little did he know that working with an artist would be so difficult. He diligently sends me mock-ups via email. I make my lengthy comments and send them back. Then he gives me another round of options. We're getting close, and I'm so excited to see a card with my own art on it! I'll post a picture when they're finished.

I did some layout work on my series of fabric pieces. I also worked on design ideas for the Day of the Dead swap and the Charm swap. I experimented with a new technique from Beryl Taylor's book "Mixed Media Explorations." And I pulled some papers and images from my stash for collage.

I contacted a sign company to have a banner made with my name on it for my booth. Today I have to go there to place the order. I also need to make a trip to Michaels for various odds and ends.

I was reading Pam Garrison's blog the other day and she talked about and posted pictures of a lot of work-in-progress. I really found that interesting. We, as artists, aren't always as fixated on the final work as we are in knowing how the creator arrived at that point. As a result, I will try to post more photos of my work in progress. That's my promise. But not today. Right now, I'm heading for the coffee...

Illumination

Here it is... "Illum-ination". Some of you may remember it as "black art" or "ode to Southern California Edison". In any case, I'm pleased with it. The figure is rather washed out in this photo, but she's comprised of a mix of white, beige, and blue/gray paint. The squares of paper in the lower right spell out "illumination". I think if you click on the picture, you'll get a bigger rendition. Just goes to show you that art can be healing. I started this in such a bad, angry mood. And while working on it, something in my core began to shift. What's that expression? ...When life gives you lemons, make lemonade? Yes, I think that sums it up.

My Day to Day Life

This is "Fleeting". I finished it a couple of months ago, but I don't think I've posted it here yet. Forgive me if I have. It measures 22"x28".

I got four new canvases textured and gessoed yesterday. It gives me a little thrill to know they're sitting there all pristine and ready for me to come add paint today.

I also started work on a garland of my own, inspired by Pam Garrison's article in Somerset Studio. In addition, I had the opportunity to see her work firsthand at ArtFIBERfest, and it's just amazing.

I'm working on a series of fabric mixed-media pieces as well. There will be seven in all. I'll post some pictures of work-in-progress when I have more to show you. (Right now they're just a stip of fabric, and that's not too exciting, believe me.) These pieces are inspired by Beryl Taylor's book "Mixed Media Explorations."

Many thanks to Lelainia the instigator! Now I've signed up for three swaps in the coming months! It's a bit much given my schedule and everything else I'm trying to accomplish, but I'm happy to be making some art for myself again. I've missed that.

I've been spending some time updating the links section on my website. I should be ready to upload it by the end of the day today. Oh, and don't forget about my "ode to the electric company." That piece is entitled "Illumination" and I should have pictures for you tomorrow.

See? Busy, busy, busy. And I couldn't be happier.

To Be An Artist

I came across a quote recently that really resonated with me. It's by Anne Truitt. She says, "The most demanding part of living a lifetime as an artist is the strict discipline of forcing oneself to work steadfastly along the nerve of one's own most intimate sensitivity."

Doesn't that just get right to the heart of what it means to be an artist? Sometimes I feel that I hold a piece of myself in reserve when I create. It's almost as if I'm willing to share most of myself, but not quite all. I long to just "put it all out there" - the good, the bad, and the ugly - just as Frida Kahlo did. In my opinion, this is precisely why Frida's work is so mesmerizing and so revered. Her paintings are a direct window to her soul, with no holes barred. I admire the guts that takes.

With Anne Truitt's words, I realize that we, as artists, all face this sort of balancing act. How much can we share? I'm certain the answer is different for everyone. But I'm also just as certain that to be truly "great", we must be willing to share it all, however cloaked the message may be. No other job requires more. And while oftentimes scary, this prospect makes me feel distinctly proud and tremendously blessed to call myself an artist.

"Freedom"

This is a piece I finished right before we left on vacation. It's entitled "Freedom". I'm really pleased with the way it turned out. And it looks even better in person, if I do say so myself.

The image is one that I found at a swap meet. He's a sailor from another time. The strip running through "Land of the Free" says "FREEDOM" over and over again. Below that, I've attached three pennies and some chain. (Good 'ole Abe breaking the bonds of slavery, don'tcha know?) Underneath the sailor are the words "Home of the Brave" and in the upper right-hand corner is written "September 11".

This one just sort of evolved on its own, but I couldn't be happier. It's 22" x 28", and I hope it finds a good home someday... maybe to a family who has one of its own serving overseas...

(By the way, don't get too worried about the pictures. The files I take for show submissions are with the "good" camera. Blogger won't allow me to upload such huge files. The photos you see here are with my old, "cheapie" digital camera. That's why they're not as great. Just didn't want you to think my new Canon EOS 350 wasn't all it was cracked up to be.)

My weekend was super-busy with work, but I got so much done! That always feels good. I finished up of all the canvases I have been working on and cleared my table to begin something fresh today. I also managed to complete a lot of the stacked-up computer work as well. It's nice to see the "to do" shrinking. I'm meeting with a printer about designing business cards today. I'm excited to get some with my own art on them. I tell you though, anyone who says that being a full-time artist is all about the art is full of baloney. The business end always seems to soak up more time! Such is life. I'm blessed to be able to do the art that I do get done, and I know it!

A Birthday Gift

This is a picture of a birthday gift from Edina. I plan to hang it in my studio, right above my desk. Isn't it just lovely? It means the world to me that she thought to send me something, and even more that it was made from her heart. What a talented artist and what a cherished friend.

You'll be happy to know that I have been true to my word in creating "black" art. My friend Lelainia suggested I should send the finished piece to the electric company with a receipt for $609. I think that's pretty funny. And a good idea.

"Black Art" is still in progress, but I'll post a picture when it's complete, I promise. I'm feeling better already. Art is therapeutic, for sure.

The Psychology of Creating

What is the best kind of mental "space" to be in when you create? I mean, are there given parameters that, when followed, allow you to produce your best work?

For example: today I'm grumpy. And pissed off. We got our electric bill last night, and I will share with you that it was $609! And California is getting a 200% rate hike beginning August 1. It seems unfair and cruel. Our daily temperatures climb to 112-115 here throughout much of the summer. What will the elderly people do? Or stay-at-home mom's with little babies? What will I do?

I don't feel like working on my canvases today. I feel like all of my anger and upset will come out through my brush. I'm not in the mood. Which leads me to the question of this blog. What is a working artist to do? Should I just push through the obstacle and use the precious time I have each day to get some work done, regardless of my inner state? Or should I give myself a break? But then I feel like one of those cliche'd "temperamental" artists...

Perhaps I should just abandon my heart-filled works-in-progress and paint what's inside of me today. No one will want to buy it, certainly. But at least I can work though these feelings of anger and powerlessness. It occurs to me that Frida operated and painted from a place of tremendous pain throughout most of her life. Now, I don't begin to compare my pain at receiving the electric bill with hers, but she produced some pretty awesome and revered work while dwelling in a less-than-perfect mental space.

I guess the point of art - in any medium - is to get what is inside of you to the outside. And that can't always be happy, shiny, and perfect... for any of us. We are, after all, only human. So today I think I will go forth and work primarily with black. Maybe I'll make a gift to the electric company. They should appreciate it. Black is, after all, the absence of light.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation (part 3)

This is the last of the vacation photos, I promise! Here's a pic. of Steve on our balcony at the Justin Winery. What a lovely place that is. We went hiking one morning on the vineyard grounds. We took our sketchbooks and stopped on a hill overlooking our room to draw. I want to fill mine in with watercolor... maybe this weekend. I must tell you that Steve is quite the artist himself, though. His drawings are always wonderful and always effortless. Both of his grandparents and his mother were/are incredible artists, so it's in his blood, I guess.

Here's the view from our room at Sycamore Mineral Springs Resort. Our own private hot tub on our own private balcony surrounded by pines and other foliage... can't get much better than that! There's a trail right behind these cottages in "the west meadow" that runs all the way to the beach. It makes for a wonderful morning jog... followed by a hot soak, of course!


And lastly, this is my favorite picture from our whole vacation. In my opinion, it just epitomizes the beauty of Sequoia National Park. If you look closely, you'll see a waterfall coming down the mountain, which we hiked to. Isn't it just breathtaking? Reality is always a challenge when you have a getaway as special as this one.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation (part 2)

This is me atop Moro Rock. It's a large granite dome about 6,725 feet up. The climb to the top is up 400 steep stairs, carved into the granite. If you're in moderate shape, it's not a challenge physically... but boy is it mentally! Looking at the steps was not the problem. Looking out and down was a different story (for me anyway).

As you can see from the second photo, the effort was well worth it. The view spans the Great Western Divide. We were told that if it had been a completely clear day, we'd be able to see all the way to the ocean. Pretty amazing, this planet of ours....

Yesterday was a challenge for me as well, but not in a "fear of heights" sortof way. It was more of a "too many deadlines, not enough time" sort of stress. Plus it's always hard to come back from a wonderfully relaxing trip to everything that's been piling up while you've been away.

I spent most of the day tracking down my Beverly Hills art show application, which is due today. You may remember that I mailed it on July 20 via certified mail. Plenty of time. The post office is still showing it hasn't been delivered. After a lot of phone calls and pleading, the Beverly Hills people confirmed that they have it, but I ended up looking stupid. What is up with the post office these days?!?!

I'm also trying to wade my way through the tons of proposals I have from different banks. I need to get setup to accept credit cards for shows, and it's a difficult decision to make. Each offers something slightly different than the others and it's hard to determine how it all will pan out in the end.

One other thing I learned is that I DO NOT like doing art for themes that I'm not that into. I got this hair-brained idea to submit a couple of pieces for this show in Nevada. The theme is "Lucky 13". Now, you'd think being the Vegas girl that I am, this would be right up my alley. I adore Vegas, but not so much in my art. At any rate, I'm almost finished with the pieces I want to submit, but I really hate them. I mean R E A L L Y. But, what can I do? Lesson learned. No more conforming to someone else's ideal. If a theme and my passion coincide, great. If not, walk away. Simple as that.