My Baby

This is Mont- gomery. He is, other than Steve, the absolute love of my life. In fact, he's been in my life longer than Steve. He is 12 and a half and he is the epitome of unconditional love. (Of course, he can get grumpy with anyone who is NOT his mommy... which makes him all the more dear to me.) He rules both Bentley (our Welsh Corgi) and Audrey (our Himalayan) like he was born to be king. Here, he's demonstrating his presidential pose. He always sits with his legs crossed like that... just so regal. Yesterday he was extra needy and wanted to be held literally ALL day long.

I've been watching him because about two months ago, Montgomery had a little cut on his forearm. It scabbed over and seemed to heal. The past couple of weeks, I've noticed he's still really licking that area. I keep watching it.... sometimes he's fine with my fiddling and sometimes he pulls away. Well, last night, Steve and I really got in there and felt. Finally, it dawned on us... We think that the stint from his surgery in August is STILL possibly in there! Now that we've made the connection, you can feel it - clear as day!!!

I'm angry, and I feel like the most horrible mother in the world! Why didn't I figure this out sooner!?!? How come I didn't know??? We're taking him to the vet on Saturday morning. I hope and pray they don't have to put him under again just to get in there and look. I hate having to put Montgomery through this. It breaks my heart and I want to scream. The only "good" thing, I suppose, is that he's not really in any pain that we can see... he just gets annoyed when we start rubbing his arm. Montgomery, I love you with my WHOLE heart.... please forgive me.

To change subjects, thank you to all of you who wrote such kind, supportive, uplifting comments in response to yesterday's post. I think the source of my frustration stems from a desire to paint, what I will call for lack of a better term, "pseudo-reality". I don't want to do "realism," per se, but I would like to be able to paint a simple table and not have it look like Montgomery did it (although he IS very good). I guess like everything else, it will come only through doing the work and practicing. I know that. But I appreciate hearing the encouragement. It helps to know I'm not out here in some sort of artistic void, toiling alone. It helps to know that my struggles are more universal and are understood by all of you. What did we ever do with the artistic angst before the age of the internet?? Before we could just reach out across time and space to connect with friends we NEVER would have met otherwise? I know what we did... we cut off our ears and sent them via snail mail. Thank God I don't have to do that, dear friends!!