Being Honest
It's been a difficult week, I think...
The desire and enthusiasm to paint is there. But I just keep freezing... and getting distracted. It's ironic that I just finished my upcoming article on "Procrastination" for Artitude's winter issue. It occurs to me that I am doing exactly what I warn other people off doing in my article. And it all stems from fear.
I feel myself being pulled to create the type of art that I know will be accepted and revered in my altered art circle. I also feel a need to make art that I think other people will buy. As is the case for any artist, I just want my art to be liked.
Now, before you start, I already know what you are going to say... "You have to make art that is authentically you and that comes from your heart. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks! Make art that is real and people will love it." I know the dialogue. I've written or spoken those words myself perhaps a thousand times.
The freeze comes into play because I'm pretty sure I can't execute the type of art that I have in my head. It's not for lack of wanting it or having the time or the right supplies. I just don't have the technical skills to be able to paint a gorgeous painting. Lately I feel as though I rely on collage and hearts and birds and large images as a sort of a crutch.
Again, don't get me wrong... I have loved the process and the art that I've created on this journey of mine. All of the themes I have used have (and always will have) tremendous personal significance for me. I guess I'm just ready to turn a corner and do something new. Maybe that's what's called "creating a new body of work". I never really understood that phrase before. It seemed like all the work would just kind of blend together. But now I think I understand the importance of delving deep into a certain idea until you have learned and grown and made progress. When the time is right to let it go and look to something new, you'll know it. It will be there waiting for you like a dew-covered morning... full of promise. I suppose that's where I am now. But where I want to go feels like a universe away...
It seems surreal to me that my own writings would give me the answers for which I search. Maybe I have more intuitive knowledge than I ever realized? Anyway, I've just got to get in there and do. Maybe the first 100 paintings will be crap, but 101.... oh boy, look out! That could be the gem. There simply is no other way to get from point A to point B. And the first 100? Guess I'd better order more gesso...
The desire and enthusiasm to paint is there. But I just keep freezing... and getting distracted. It's ironic that I just finished my upcoming article on "Procrastination" for Artitude's winter issue. It occurs to me that I am doing exactly what I warn other people off doing in my article. And it all stems from fear.
I feel myself being pulled to create the type of art that I know will be accepted and revered in my altered art circle. I also feel a need to make art that I think other people will buy. As is the case for any artist, I just want my art to be liked.
Now, before you start, I already know what you are going to say... "You have to make art that is authentically you and that comes from your heart. Don't worry about what everyone else thinks! Make art that is real and people will love it." I know the dialogue. I've written or spoken those words myself perhaps a thousand times.
The freeze comes into play because I'm pretty sure I can't execute the type of art that I have in my head. It's not for lack of wanting it or having the time or the right supplies. I just don't have the technical skills to be able to paint a gorgeous painting. Lately I feel as though I rely on collage and hearts and birds and large images as a sort of a crutch.
Again, don't get me wrong... I have loved the process and the art that I've created on this journey of mine. All of the themes I have used have (and always will have) tremendous personal significance for me. I guess I'm just ready to turn a corner and do something new. Maybe that's what's called "creating a new body of work". I never really understood that phrase before. It seemed like all the work would just kind of blend together. But now I think I understand the importance of delving deep into a certain idea until you have learned and grown and made progress. When the time is right to let it go and look to something new, you'll know it. It will be there waiting for you like a dew-covered morning... full of promise. I suppose that's where I am now. But where I want to go feels like a universe away...
It seems surreal to me that my own writings would give me the answers for which I search. Maybe I have more intuitive knowledge than I ever realized? Anyway, I've just got to get in there and do. Maybe the first 100 paintings will be crap, but 101.... oh boy, look out! That could be the gem. There simply is no other way to get from point A to point B. And the first 100? Guess I'd better order more gesso...
posted by Shari Beaubien at 6:04 AM
6 Comments:
amazing words Shari!
the reality of creating art that you both love and that you know will sell is a fine blurry line that I had to walk with my jewelry ... the start is always about LOVE then when you find that people will play money for what you love a whole new addiction sets in! the term "bread and butter art" comes to my mind :) I guess that is why I like to create FREE art in my RR and swaps because its not about money its about what I want to do, not what I have to do. I look forward to reading your upcoming article!
At least you have had a theme up to now that has provided you with direction. Now you want to explore a new one and that is courageous and I am sure you will find your way. I, on the other hand, am rudderless and jump around so much with my art that I sometimes feel lost in a sea of indecision. Should I focus on one type of art? What will it be? Or do I continue in my haphazard way and do whatever I feel like doing in the moment? I think this is why I take so many classes. Always exploring something new. Guess it will be what it will be. Just go for it and see what happens. Like you say, there is always more gesso.
Hi, I visit your blog perhaps once a week, and for whatever it's worth...I find for myself if I just go to the studio to play and experiment, after a while something just clicks and comes to me. So maybe if you approach it that way????
If I want to push myself into "different territory", often times i will pick up the paintbrush and colors and images and symbols that I don't often lean to...
Also, keeping a journal and steadily (daily for me) working in it has helped me to develop, push and often times change my style as needed...
I know how you feel though. ;)
You have growing pains girl! Celebrate, rather than bemoan this-it means you are dreaming big and ready to take another leap. You just have to step out in faith and trust that the universe will rise to meet you.
I wish you courage for the journey.
This is profound stuff. I think it would be a perfect time to pick up that meditation CD I sent you, hint, hint.....
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